Nancy Jane Fitzpatrick's Red Lion Inn Facebook Party
Face It: The Challenges of Social Networking
By: Charles Giuliano - May 26, 2009
The Red Lion Inn has been in continual operation in Stockbridge, Mass., the village made famous by Norman Rockwell, since the 18th century. It is a Berkshire icon and destination for upscale lodging and dining.
Recently we were invited by the Innkeeper, Nancy Jane Fitzpatrick, to join her and other Facebook friends, for a mixer in the Lion's Den, the cozy basement pub. We dropped by for cocktails and the opportunity to expand our social circle before departing in time for the Dickey Betts concert at the Colonial Theatre in Pittsfield.
I signed on with Facebook fairly recently and as of today have some 585 "friends" and counting. Nancy is using the access largely to promote not only a circle of "real" friends but to make people aware of the many wonderful opportunities to visit the Berkshires and enjoy the historic Inn. We met some of her friends and hopefully now they are ours as well.
During the gathering she encouraged guests to talk with strangers. Since we didn't know anyone that was inevitable. Like most people I felt rather awkward striking up conversations with people I don't know. That starts with a bit of "profiling" a now disparaged term and notion of seeking out individuals who appeared to be artists and musicians. That seemed more promising than conversations with "the suits" with not much prospect of having anything in common. A couple of those attempts went typically amiss.
After a couple of false starts I connected with Arthur Oliver who was by far the most flamboyant individual in the Den. There was a colorful turban wound about his head. He is a costume designer and great friend of Elizabeth Aspenlieder the brilliantly gifted actress at Shakespeare & Company. He said that she was tied down but had wanted to join the party. Arthur and I chatted and are now Facebook friends.
Astrid who was talking with other people introduced me to David McKearnan who wanted to let me know about an art auction to benefit an education fund through Berkshire Theatre Festival in the name of his wife Betsy. I asked him to send some material and we will post the event on Berkshire Fine Arts.
Another group included a fascinating day trader, sorry forgot his name. We were joined by my new Facebook friend, Nicole Garzino. She moved to the Berkshires a couple of years ago with three daughters. At first to work in development for Barrington Stage Company before moving on to a position at Simon's Rock. She related being frustrated that on a recent Friday night, following an event at the Lichtenstein Center, she wanted a nightcap and found the streets of Pittsfield rolled up by 10:30. "I had cash to spend" she exclaimed. We talked about the down side of living in the Berkshires compared to the attractions of bright lights in the big city.
Driving to the Colonial Astrid mentioned that she listens to the radio show of Alan Chartock on Public Radio. We had chatted briefly with Alan and his wife Roselle who is a professor at MCLA. They have since become Facebook friends.
For the next few days there has been a lot of chatter with Friends thanking Nancy for the wonderful party or sending regrets that they hadn't been able to make it. Everyone is urging her to do it again. It was such a great success.
Most significantly it put a face on all those Friends we meet. There were also conversations about problems. How to avoid certain people who appear to be "stalkers." Or watch out for violating rules that will get you shut down. Like trying to use the site to promote a commercial business. A no no.
Right now I am trying to make sense of Facebook and figure out how it best works for me. So far Astrid has not joined but she is becoming interested. With so much to do she is afraid it will just take up more of her time. One may become addicted and have to join a twelve step program. There are even interventions with family and concerned friends.
The question is what do I have in common with these people? Nancy's party allowed one to come face to face. To decide first hand what we share and why we might want to continue to network.
For the most part, however, I am baffled by the inane patter and threads that result when someone posts a one worder like "Coffee" or "Sleep." That seems to evoke a lot of responses. The more inane the better like "doing laundry today" or "Here I am in Barcelona. Tomorrow Rome."
Some people seem to post twenty and thirty times a day. Don't they have anything else to do? Actually I had to get rid of some "friends" including someone I even know because I found it so annoying that she clogged up the "stream" with idiotic sentimental stuff. Another stranger/ friend just barraged the stream with hateful screeds. Hey, I don't need that. Goodby. And I'm not particularly interested in the results of some quiz like "what's your favorite color" or 'What artist, author, philosopher, film star or Nazi general do you most like or resemble?" Is this really important for me to know? Do I have to see those latest pictures of your cat? Or kids? Or soccer game? Or new boyfriend?
Now and then something of substance comes along. Perhaps a challenging thought or an actual issue of importance. A link to something interesting to read. Or an event we might enjoy.
For a time I enjoyed reading and responding to the posting of the art critic Jerry Saltz. He often asked provocative questions that got enormous numbers of responses. So many it appears that he got into trouble with Facebook. He violated some kind of rule. Like perhaps being too serious or interesting which resulted in too much traffic. I read a comment from him about his struggles with Facebook and nothing since. If he has been boycotted that will be a great loss.
The far reach of Facebook has brought me back in contact with lost friends and former students. I like catching up and chatting. It is also cool to be Friends with famous artists, critics and curators. In am Friends with Jeff Koons and Shepherd Fairey. This morning I got a note from Fairey, or at least from someone on his staff. I have yet to hear from Jeff but I'm not holding my breath.
Once or twice a day I send my own comments down that endless river. Mostly I try to call attention to the arts events we cover for Berkshire Fine Arts. I see Facebook as a way to reach a wider audience for the site. Just as Nancy sees the value of connecting with potential clients for the Red Lion Inn. And I often reply to some of those inane postings. To a message "Coffee" I might answer with "Tea." It's a way of connecting with that person and letting them know I am out there.
It is really questionable that any of this is of real value. A colleague argues that it is fairly useless. But there are standards. Give it time and see what happens. Some good may come from this. But hell no, I refuse to Twitter. No way Jose. Buzz off.