Corona Chronicles

Senior Shopping at Big Y

By: - Mar 27, 2020

Bolted out of bed this morning at 6:30 AM.

Gulped a cup of coffee and scanned CNN.

Then off to Big Y. Arriving at 7:15 AM the lot was full.

Paused at the door to put on my surgical gloves. Got the fingers wrong. But charged on to find the store full of fellow seniors.

Went straight to the toilet paper aisle. Drats it was plug empty. Glancing about I envied fellow silver panthers with their score.

Some were indeed quite elderly. I greeted them and shared morning cheer.

We alerted out friend Bob. He had been out on TP runs a number of times with no luck. I had hoped we might meet up for a senior moment.

Moving about at a fast clip I waved to Sharon an Eclipse Mill neighbor. She was intent and focused on the task at hand.

Actually, I had shopped a couple of days ago at both Big Y and Ocean City Job Lots. We are pretty well stocked with canned goods. But iffy on TP.

An associate at Big Y alerted me that they might have some TP on Friday morning but that it would go pretty fast.

Back in the day, there was the Sears Roebuck catalog in the outhouse. I can still recall that from when I was a kid. It was real stinky and seemed so strange not to flush. There were latrines at Boy Scout camp. That came as part of roughing it.

There was a recent New Yorker cartoon that shows a couple in their bunker. It was crammed full of TP. The caption read “We forgot to buy food.”

A couple of weeks ago we found a twelve pack at Ocean City. Astrid also pointed out our backup supply. Nevertheless, I went on Amazon and ordered. With a six week delivery time I will arrive by the end of April. By then I had anticipated that we would be running low.

We are not in the panic mode of friends and neighbors who are running out of sheets. Compared to which, perhaps, we don’t for now, give a sheet.

There is even a weekly robocall from City Hall asking citizens not to flush anything but certified TP. Substitutes don’t biodegrade and risk clogging our ancient sewer system.

Pushing the cart about I hunted for other essentials. I spotted the last pack of hand sanitizer. But a Big Y associate grabbed it before I could. “Is this what you are looking for” she asked knowing the answer all too well. “There may be more in the back” she said but I knew that was pure BS. It just seemed like a dirty trick to pull on a senior early in the morning.

Just to make sure, I did one more spin down the bare-bones TP aisle. Be still dear heart, an associate was ripping open a case. With a pleasant tone she said “Do you want a couple?” So, at least for a couple of months, we are well supplied.

Toilet paper wise.

Who knows what we will run out of between then and now? The cupboards are packed and the freezer is full. All is well in Pleasantville. For now, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

I grabbed another potted hyacinth. This is now our third. The first was glorious but finally faded. The second, a yellow one, is currently blooming. The fresh spring scent wafts through our loft.

Astrid laughed that I had bought another one. Just budding. I have kept her in flowers all these years.

“It’s good to have backup” I said pulling off the gloves and washing my hands.

In hard times best to say it with flowers.